David Milch
559 Movie Magic Lane
Glamourville, U S of A
90210
Dear Dave,
Well, if you guessed that I'm spent, you'd be right. The last 2 episodes of Season 3 alone sent me spiraling into a tailspin of "emotional embezzlement", and I don't think, 1 whole month later, that I've even recovered yet. 2 hours of perhaps the greatest television ever, cable or not.
However, this bullshit about Deadwood being too expensive to provide its rabid fans with a little bit o'closure strikes me as, well, bullshit. And retarded.
Listen, David Lynch Junior: Ending a series before you've told the entire story is terribly bad form. Terribly bad. I mean, the Earp brothers are in, like, 2 episodes and they don't really ever do anything but look askew at each other and all those around them; I still don't know who or what a "Pinkerton" is; the gay guy and the fat chick never got to put on a big show (yes, that was the Dennis Christopher, everybody); they've not even started construction on the new school; Jane and Joanie just barely got to explore their own inner lesbianisms; and we never find out why Octavius put a shiv in that Plutonian's gluteus maximus. (Er... Wait.)
I haven't seen that many loose ends since The 2005 Gay Pride Parade Home Coming Queen Court staged a live game of Thong Twister on the Moulin Rouge float. Good times.
(Though Ellsworth did get his head blown off. So that storyline is pretty much a dead end.)
Anyways...
So, yeah, you're gonna hafta out-Lynch Lynch (or lynch Lynch, as the case may be) and make a full-length feature film released in theaters that wraps up all the storylines but doesn't unravel itself in masturbatory self-musings the way Fire Walk With Me did.
You'll make 5 bajillion dollars in the first weekend alone. It will pay for itself in about 10 minutes. Hell, start a donation campaign and it could be all for-profit.
So please, Dave: Do it for Deadwood's fans; do it for Deadwood's cast; do it for Deadwood's memory. But for godsakes, just do it. But you'd better do it well, or you'll be the one getting David Lynched.
Yours sincerely,
switters
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8 comments:
Bravo!
[supportive Milch-pressuring golf claps]
The two wrap up movies may or may not be dead. The article mentions that Dave is apparently shagged out from working on John From Cincinnati. We can take heart in the fact that HBO declined to pick up that series for a second season, so maybe Dave'll get back to the really important stuff. I'm thinking of hiring Wu to stand outside Milch's office shouting "Cocksuckahs" until he acquiesces.
Ellsworth's death shocked me. Shocked me I tell you. Because it was shocking.
A "Pinkerton" is the 19th century equivalent of a "Metrosexual".
My other random thought: too much nekkid Jane, not enough nekkid Joanie, just the right amount of nekkid Trixie. Or so I'm told.
Oh, yeah, almost forgot...
HOT DAMN!!! DICK AND DANIELE IN THE FINAL TWO, BABY!!!
...that's all.
KHAAAAAAAN!!!
You know, if any candidate ends a speech like that, I'll vote for him.*
And drunk? See? Just because our last six presidents couldn't pronounce the word nuclear doesn't mean that this bozo doesn't look like a slurring lit-up retard when he stumbles over it.
You're acing the political bit lately, dude.
K
*Oh Hillary honey, you'd need a humor transplant first.
Hey, skitch.
I'm of the mind that, given the circumstances, it's gotta be something else. Which leads me to believe that one could make the case that Milch has gone Dave "Chapelle" on us. I'm probably in the minority on this one, but as brilliant as Season 1 was, I thought the show just got better and better. I didn't find the end of Season 3 nearly as anti-climactic as I thought I would. For me it was disappointing only because I knew there was no Season 4 in the pipe and some lines got left open. I think it was the 2nd to last episode (or was it the last episode; maybe the 2nd to last was when Alma gets shot at and Al springs into action) when Ellsworth's body is hauled through town. That scene, which I backed up and watched 3 times in a row, is precisely why the show was/is sheer genius. Remember the accompanying music/sound design? Terrifying. A united town.
I've never, ever seen Gerald McRaney that good. Didn't know he was capable of that depth of horror. Perfect.
As for BB, while I endorse bacon's assessment of Dick personally and agree whole-heartedly with it, I gotta agree with you: Best player in BB history. Finally got to see an entire episode uninterrupted last night. Danielle strikes me as indescribably beautiful while at the same time mind-numbingly vapid and superficial. Are we sure she's not southern?
Hey, Keifus.
It's pretty hard to make a case for smoking pot, but I think last night was pretty good testimony in favor of it. Did you know that JFK Jr. smoked a joint almost every night at home? I think I'm in good company, though I wish I had his looks.
Please tell me you've seen Mystery Men. If you haven't, please see it immediately. I'd love to have a wikifray discussion. To me that movie demands it. Let me know.
And thanks. I'm in the middle of a severe depression. The tennis last weekend helped a little, but that's gone. The days are getting shorter, though cooler, which is... cool. So I'm actually looking forward to some yard work this weekend after all the rain we've had. (Yes, asshole, your back yard is gorgeous. Now quit rubbing my nose in it while I'm trying to catch up.)
I may have turned a corner on the blues, but I don't think so. It seems all I do is try to get from Sunday night to Friday afternoon without choking everyone around me. Believe me: They deserve it. (Like I have to tell you that.)
Anyways, no worries. I'll get through it. I wonder if I'm funnier when I'm depressed. I think Oswalt is.
topazz's 3-topic thread is funny to me because it makes me self-conscious (sp?) about how much I rely on you people. Funny also just how obvious who(m) on The New Fray isn't a completely useless tool. Brutally obvious.
Damnit switters, will you PUHLEEZE go and get the legal kind of drugs? The kind that Help? I mean, I haven't seen the filmstrip in a while, but I recall that pot and alcohol are both depressants. And here you are, claiming you are depressed. Bueller, Bueller? Anyone?
Or run a marathon, rent some yoga tapes, swim two miles, but honey, you gotta do something. Email, I'll send you a phone number. But sweetie you can't sit around all the time pining. (Unless it makes you funny. In which event, forget everything I said.)
BTW, Geoff is wrong. You are so not uneven. Smooch.
Hey, rundeep.
But... That would mean that I'd have to go to the doctor.
[ducking]
It's turned into a beautiful day here today. Between yesterday and today we easily got 3 inches. My roses and camellias took a real beating this summer. So they're really soaking it up.
I'm going to try to work outside all day both Saturday and Sunday, both of which promise to be pretty days.
I stopped swimming because I messed up my shoulder. Again. Nor have I been stretching, which is probably why my back hurts. Or it could be because I'm old.
With the cool weather, the dogs love to go on long walks, which I like as well because it's a great thinking time for me. I think I wrote "The Da Vinchy Cold: A Movie Review" in its entirety in my head during a stroll.
Another thing that amuses me is when you and/or topazz get attacked for not having a life. It amuses me because, as far as I can tell in this medium, topazz is an extraordinarily well-adjusted divorced single mom who's probably a terrific mother (I'm guessing people with fantastic senses of humor are better parents because laughing is healthy), and you're obviously a brilliant lawyer raising kids in an obviously healthy marriage and still manages to find time to post on The New Fray stuff that's brilliant. That's funny.
Does your kid play tennis year round? My other "adopted nephew", the 3L's little brother, is quite good, plays for his college team. I've only gotten to see him play twice because my schedule is at odds with his tournaments.
I really appreciate your concern. It means a lot. I've got some thinking to do this fall.
P.S. Thanks. I think Geoff's just PMSing. Again.
topazz really does have a life. She is a better mom than me, for sure. She's had bigger challenges and dealt with them with grace (triplets, man, I'd be at your house stealing the bong!).
Glad to hear you have a little sunshine planned. It makes a difference. Call your friends, be social with other people. You are so smart and funny and you need to be with living, breathing, people who tell you that. And you should never feel worried about getting what you need in the world -- including if not happiness, then serenity. Life's too frigging short to accept anything else.
As for me, it's all smoke and mirrors. I'm the net nanny at work (convenient, eh?) but I try to limit it, believe it or not. I'd love to work a 9-5 job, instead of an 8-6 or 7 job. I get tired, and I ignore a lot of stuff when it bores me. Which is often.
Kid does play all year -- at least she takes clinics with some other kids all year. I haven't been doing the private lesson thing, but I think she's at a stage where she could actually benefit from that. May try to negotiate that for the Fall (spring is reserved for lacrosse, and that's s big committment also). Plus, I forced her to take up an instrument, because I was beginning to lose my street cred as Music Nazi Mom. So we'll find a way to work it out. So will you. Stay black negro.
1. You people are awesome. Just sayin'.
2. So I rented Mystery Men. Back in that last year of college, hungover watching of the saturday morning series The Tick was mandatory. Good times. Looks along those lines.
3. My carpentry is along the lines of my other (ahem) skills. Which is to say I might be mistaken for competent if you don't don't know anything. I spent the last two hours correcting last night's shed roof mistakes. (Angles are, like, hard and stuff.) Also, I can't make (non crab) grass grow for the life of me. I'm starting to think it needs sun or something. Maybe water too.
4. They're getting the Fray they want, which has depressed me terribly all year.
5. There's still football. Finally. (What? Not a Pats fan? How could you?) Tennis is not as disappointing to watch as hockey, as I strongly suspect there's still some 60-year-old mixed doubles ahead for me sometime in the distant future. Also, I fucking hurt all over, all the time, and I'm younger than you.
6. The case for pot? Low calories.
7. Serenity now.
8. There is no 8.
9. Even though I'm just some other dipshit kinda frustrated with his life (if for different reasons), I read whatever you write. Do it more if it helps. Can always email too, if you do that.
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